In my life, I have found being female an endlessly frustrating thing. It’s hard to imagine what other’s lives were/are like, but I did not have anyone to tell me about some of the emotions I might encounter as a person, nonetheless as a woman.
The environment I was raised in offered no comfort, no security and no advice or honesty. Forced to be independent from an early age I was left to figure things out on my own. Although I stand today as a proud and confident person, there are still many parts of myself that require reflecting upon, some of which feel as though they will never be resolved.
As a child, it was difficult if not impossible, to understand the reasons given for the need to conform.
The deepest parts of ourselves are rendered abstract from us, buried away or forgotten as we integrate into the world. Eventually these details come to surface in life and we do not recognize them as part of who we are. We question where they have come from, why they plague us and how to rid our minds of them. We tear ourselves and eachother apart trying to understand the most elementary measures of mankind.
Ultimately we are left to wonder why we were instructed to be human, but never informed as to what it is to be human.
We are taught that humanity is a concept, rather than a reality, that it is something seperate from ourselves. We are advised to learn how to be humane even though the compassion that the world longs for exists in all of us to begin with. It is only after corruption of that inherent knowledge that we are left naked and vulnerable, open to the conditioning which we all receive as a mark of entry into our societies.